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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384968">A Tale of Two Hawkeyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DomesticatedTendencies/pseuds/DomesticatedTendencies'>DomesticatedTendencies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Tower, Barney Barton is His Own Warning, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon-Typical Violence, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Circus, Circus Performer Clint Barton, Clint Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton-centric, Deaf Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Secrets, Feelings, Gen, Hawkeye - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Kate Barton is Kate Bishop, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Clint Barton, POV Kate Bishop, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Kate Bishop, Protective Siblings, Rescue, Romanian Bucky Barnes, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trickshot - Freeform, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, it will all make sense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:21:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DomesticatedTendencies/pseuds/DomesticatedTendencies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint Barton didn’t talk about the past; tried not to think too hard on the life he lived before the Army and SHIELD. That wasn’t to say it didn’t matter to him, because it did. He just couldn’t let himself dwell on it. Every time he did he ended up right back there again, reliving every mistake and overthinking every stupid decision and he just couldn’t anymore. Until he got the text. Two simple words saying the inevitable had finally happened and he knew he had to go back. To Tiboldt's Circus. To the kid sister he left behind. To the brother who still has a score to settle. To the secret so big it could destroy anyone to ever claim the Barton name.</p><p>Or, Kate has a secret and then she has another. Maybe even a third. But Clint's secret trumps them all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton &amp; Kate Bishop, Clint Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Kate Bishop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Back to the Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well hello again! </p><p>So we're actually doing this. For real this time. It's happening. This story is actually a few years coming. For once I have things entirely mapped out and actually half written. I don't want to spoil any surprises, but just know everything will make sense in time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Or don't. It's entirely your call. </p><p>Also, I have tagged! I don't always like tags but I understand some people struggle with certain topics and there could be triggers for them in this story, especially in the first few chapters. Tags will update as necessary.</p><p>Oh. And this is a work in progress. I'm shooting for Sunday updates but I have kids and well, they're crazy so things happen.</p><p>Anyway, I think that's it. I hope you enjoy. As always, feel free to leave your comments whether good, bad or indifferent.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone had a beginning. They all had a place they once called home. Nat, The Red Room. Cap, the back alleys of pre-World War II Brooklyn. Stark and the Upper East Side. They weren’t born heroes like some might have you believe. They came from somewhere, whether they cared to admit it or not.</p><p>Clint Barton was of the ‘or not’ variety. He couldn’t reminisce fondly about days gone by the way Cap did. He couldn’t bitch about neglectful parents like Tony. He couldn’t even be like Nat and recount the details like they didn’t matter to him. He just… couldn’t. His childhood and everything about it might have sucked but his past was his past and that’s where it stayed. It made no sense to go into the particulars.</p><p>He didn’t talk about the past; tried not to think too hard on the life he lived before the Army and SHIELD. That wasn’t to say it didn’t matter to him, because it did. The places he’d been, the people he’d known – they mattered. He just couldn’t let himself dwell on it. Every time he did he ended up right back there again, reliving every mistake and overthinking every stupid decision and he just couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t go there again.</p><p>But then he got the text. Two words saying the inevitable had finally happened and suddenly he was eighteen again. Just a punk kid who’d couldn’t remember a time he’d been away from the place he called home. Who didn’t know how to fit in. Who had never really belonged to begin with.</p><p>
  <strong>Mamaie’s gone.</strong>
</p><p>He read the words over and over again and while they made perfect sense, they didn’t. Mamaie, the woman who was never his mother but had raised him as a son, was gone. She had been old as dirt even when she took him in but still, how could she be gone? Where did she go? How could she just leave? It didn’t make sense. Not to him. Not to the eighteen-year-old kid who never got to say goodbye. </p><p>He read the words and he knew he’d go back. To the beginning. To the past he didn’t acknowledge. To the someplace he’d rather never have been. He’d go, but he wouldn’t go alone.</p><p>Nat sat co-pilot silently observing his every move at the controls. There was no friendly ribbing. No witty wisecracks. She was being nice and he freaking hated it. The whole team was being too nice. Cap kept clapping him on the shoulder and giving him those stupid sad anime eyes. Sam the counselor was “there for him if he wanted to talk.” And Tony… well Tony had the good booze, so he wasn’t so bad. But regardless they had all decided to join him.</p><p>“We’re family,” Cap had said, while Tony took a less tactful approach.</p><p>“Technically it’s my plane and you’re crazy if you think I’m passing up an opportunity like this.”</p><p>“We’re here,” Clint told Nat. The fine hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he engaged the landing gear and brought the quinjet down nice and easy in the abandoned dirt lot. He shouldn’t have come, he thought. He wasn’t wanted here.</p><p>They were early. The sun was still shining high in the sky and the lot was mostly empty save for a few beat-up, rusted out, piece of crap cars that may or may not have permanent residence there. The quinjet was going to stand out like the Hulk… well the Hulk basically anywhere, and he’d landed the damned thing the only place he could, front and center right next to the big willow tree.</p><p>As the turbines powered down Cap rested a patriotic arm over the back of Nat’s seat and leaned down to get a better look through the windshield. There was nothing to see aside from the trees. No signs of life. As far as any of them could tell, they were nowhere.</p><p>“Is this it?” Cap asked.</p><p>The archer was squinting behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses, a frown taking up between his brows. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. </p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“There’s nothing here,” Sam observed as they disembarked from the plane.</p><p>Tony looked up from his tablet for the first time since they took off. </p><p>“Where are all the freaks?” He demanded.</p><p>“Steve,” Nat had that warning bite to her tone. Her and the captain had worked out a cut and dry system for handling Tony’s unfiltered mouth during this trip. </p><p>“Copy that.”</p><p>There was a sharp snap of a finger flicking followed by Tony’s reactive, “Ow,” but Clint wasn’t really paying attention. He was too busy staring in to nothing.</p><p>He couldn’t believe what a chicken shit he was being. Everything he had done in his life – the missions, freaking Budapest, becoming an Avenger – all that felt like nothing compared to facing his past. He wanted to leave. Tell everyone that he’d made a huge mistake in coming. He just didn’t want to deal. Maybe they could pick up a pizza on the way back. They could just go home.</p><p>But he’d come for a reason. Maybe it wasn’t a completely thought out reason, but it was a reason. And he wasn’t about to look like a coward in front of the team, so he took the first step.</p><p>“Oh. Okay. So, we’re just walking in to the woods now? Because that’s not the start of every horror movie ever.”</p><p>“Steve.”</p><p>“On it.”</p><p>“Ow! Not cool, Cap. Not. Cool.”</p><p>Clint looked over his shoulder to see the self-proclaimed genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist rubbing his arm and death glaring at the good captain.  </p><p>“You’re the one who said you wanted to see the freaks, Stark. Well…” He trailed off with a dry sort of smirk before leading them deeper in to the thick foliage.</p><p>Tony’s brows shot up. “Wait, the freaks are in the woods? That doesn’t help the whole horror movie vibe I’m getting,” Then with an accusing finger pointed at the captain, “What are we, five? Do not flick me again.”</p><p>Cap gave him a look that made no promises and kept going. </p><p>Not a single leaf was disturbed as they moved like five highly trained operatives through the terrain. Growing up the story had always been that the woods were haunted. They were just stories to keep outsiders away mostly but still, he knew there was a good chance they weren’t alone.</p><p>“Does anyone else hear that?” Steve with his super soldier hearing asked.</p><p>Everyone stopped. In the distance they could just make out the sound of children laughing. Even Clint could hear them thanks to Stark’s high-tech low-vis hearing aids. It meant they were close.</p><p>“Okay, I can’t be the only one creeped out now,” Tony announced.</p><p> For once no one disagreed with him.</p><p>“Watch your valuables,” Was Clint’s final warning before taking them the last thirty yards.</p><p>The team found themselves on the outskirts of an unexpected encampment. They were greeted by an old dilapidated ticket booth leaning precariously against a gnarled tree, the bulbs blown out and its sun faded poster advertising the famous archery talents of Hawkeye and Trickshot half peeled off. The stench of pot and old cooking grease was thick here and the air alive with the collective hum of a dozen gas generators. To the far end of the clearing sat a cluster of pop-ups and old airstream trailers. There were people but for the time they remained unseen. There was the sputtering whine of a dirt bike, the echoing boom of something heavy being dropped, an angry shout. Broken and abandoned machinery littered the lot, tall grass growing in to the gears, reminding Clint once again that this was the land of lost things. </p><p>And in the middle of it all stood the big top, imposing in red and white. Its flaps were tied firmly shut, keeping out any unwanted guests; keeping hidden it’s many secrets. </p><p>If Tony thought the woods were creepy then he was in for one hell of a surprise because a circus camp during the off season was creepy as shit.</p><p>They skirted the camps outer perimeter, Clint giving the tent a large birth as he led everyone away from the trailers. He wasn’t ready to make their presence known yet, so he made his way towards where the midway attractions were kept.</p><p> They definitely weren’t alone here. A gaggle of dirty faced kids in ratty clothes were playing a game of tag among the closed-up booths and decommissioned rides. They were either unaware or unworried about the presence of outsiders, until one blew passed them in a frenzy to get away from the one deemed ‘it’.</p><p>“Whoa kid, careful,” Sam said with an indulgent sort of chuckle as he was sideswiped by a second kid in a hurry to catch the first.</p><p>Clint let out an actual in facts groan. Five minutes. They hadn’t even lasted five freaking minutes.</p><p>“Hey. Hey!” He shouted, lunging forward and snatching the laughing miscreant by the scruff. “Give it back.”</p><p>“Git off me!” The kid cried, kicking at the archer’s shins.</p><p>Clint leveled him with a lethal glare, his hold still firm on the back of the child’s neck. </p><p>“Look kid, you picked the wrong mark. Now I’m giving you a chance here. Whatever you took, give it back.”  </p><p>“Fuck you,” The little brat spat with the venom of a grown man. He couldn’t have been more eight.</p><p>Confused, Sam started patting himself down. Finding his pockets empty, his brows shot up and his mouth fell open.</p><p>“Ah, hell no! The little monster took my wallet,” The airman gritted out, no doubt having a more colorful name in mind for the pickpocket.</p><p>“I didn’t take nothin’!”</p><p>There was a general look confusion exchanged among the heroes. Chitauri sure, but none of them seemed to know how to deal with a snot-nosed petty thief. Well Nat probably did. She could probably think of a dozen or more very detailed and very painful ways of extracting the truth from their pintsized criminal except she had this whole thing about kids lately. Protecting the innocent and all that jazz so her skills of interrogation would probably be of no use here. Luckily they got some outside help.</p><p>“Give the man his wallet.”</p><p>Everyone looked up to the voice coming from above. She was staring down at them from the roof of a food booth, her hands on her hips as long skirts fluttered in the breeze. The top she wore was so threadbare and obscenely cut that she might as well have worn nothing at all and her near black hair fell to her waist in tumbling waves. Dropping over the side of the shack, she lowered herself until the tips of her second hand boots touched the ledge of the pick-up counter. With a graceful pivot and a tiny hop, she kicked up only the smallest cloud of dust as she hit dirt. </p><p>“I said I didn’t take nothin’!” The child was still squirming in Clint’s grasp as he repeated his claim of innocence.</p><p>“Did so,” The girl argued, folding her arms across her chest. “I saw you.”</p><p>The boy’s eyes went wide at her betrayal. </p><p>“Snitch!” He hissed.</p><p>Her lips twitched up in the smallest of smiles. Then, with a surprising mix of speed and elegance, she seized the would-be thief by the ear, yanking him roughly out of the archer’s grasp who did nothing to try stop her.</p><p>“Stupid boy, too damn dumb to even know who he’s trying to steal from,” She accused. “Your old man should whoop you twice, once for being such a dummy and a second time for trying to pinch a wallet off an Avenger. Now hand it over.”</p><p>His beady eyes were mere slits under fair eyebrows as he glared up at her in open defiance. She was breaking a sacred code calling him out like she was. There would be hell to pay later, but for now she gave his captive ear a hard twist. With a howl he produced the filched wallet from the waist of his torn jeans and only when he thrust it in to her expectant hand did she let him go, sending him scurrying with a swift kick to the backside.</p><p>“Damn you Kate, I’m telling my Pa!” He shouted.</p><p>She threw her head back with her laugh. “Go ahead! I’ll tell him how you let yourself get caught by a bunch of rubes.”</p><p>Joining his vagabond friends who lay in hiding in the tall grass, the boy flipped her the bird causing even more laughter as she rolled her eyes theatrically, like the world was a stage and people in the rafters might not be able to see the humor on her face. But those in the front row weren’t amused, particularly the resident bow man, and her laughter quickly faded. </p><p>Kate hugged her arms around her bare midriff, Sam’s wallet still in her hand.</p><p>Her head cocked to the side, she studied him. “I didn’t know if you’d come.”</p><p>“Neither did I,” Clint retorted. “How long have you been watching us?”</p><p>“Since the lot,” She answered with a toss of her hair. “Nice ride.”</p><p>“It’s a rental,” He deadpanned.</p><p>She followed this with an indifferent shrug, looking over her shoulder to the children who had resumed their games. It wasn’t so long ago that she’d have been playing with them. Naming marks in the crowd and picking pockets of her own.</p><p>It had been almost five years since Clint had last seen her. She’d been sixteen then when their paths had crossed in New Mexico just long enough for him to buy her a stack pancakes and a cup of hot cocoa at a local diner. She’d swiped a pack of bubblegum from the counter just because she could and had given him that same exaggerated eyeroll when he went back and paid for it, snapping her gum like she didn’t have a care in the world. He couldn’t say he blamed her. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know any better. It was the way she had been raised, same as him. But when she looked at him with those big blue eyes he could still see the same sweet innocence that he remembered from when she was a baby.</p><p>“We’re orphans,” She whispered, her chin quivering.</p><p>Clint frowned. “We were already orphans.”</p><p>“I know,” She agreed, looking at the scuffed toe of her thrift store shoe. There were tears in her eyes that had nothing to do with theatrics. “But now it’s… it’s real.”</p><p>Sighing, he pulled her in to a hug, watching his silent teammates over the top of her head as he rubbed soothing circles between her shoulder blades. “I know. It’s okay. It’s okay Kit-Kat.”</p><p>She buried her face in his neck, her tears hot against his skin. She smelled like sunshine and the coconut oil that Mamaie had always insisted on using to condition her hair.</p><p><em>Hard work to be a pretty girl,</em> the old woman would say as she raked the brush through the dark, silky, locks. <em>Boys don’t know.</em></p><p>But Clint did know. He was the one who she had brought her hairbrush to every night because he was the best and gentlest with knots. He was the one who had tied the rags in her hair so she could wake up with the curls that people found so endearing. He was the one who had found her pretty ribbons and learned to fashion bows. It was his cot that she snuck to every night when the nightmares came. He was the one who had read the same freaking bedtime story a thousand times. He was the one who had taken care of her. Yeah Clint knew all about the hard work that came with pretty girls because up until he left Kate had been his responsibility.</p><p>Like a child she sniffled softly, and Clint planted a gentle kiss on her crown.</p><p>Awkward and never one for displays of emotion, the moment was interrupted by the team’s master egg (and silence) breaker.</p><p>“So you two know each other?”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry,” Clint apologized, clearing his throat as he let go. “Guys, this is my sister, Kate. Kate, the team. That’s Tony there. That’s Nat and Steve. Sam.”</p><p> “I know who they are, Hawk. I have the internet. He’s one of my favorite memes,” She said nodding towards Tony who folded his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes. Swiping at her eyes, for a moment she almost looked like any other bratty teen but then she smiled and all traces of that were replaced by the cool confidence of a trained performer.</p><p>“It’s a pleasure to meet you all!” She greeted them with a charming flash of dimples before offering Sam back his wallet. “I believe this is yours.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Sam made a quick check of its contents before slipping it back into his pocket.</p><p>“I’d keep a better hold on your valuables if I were you,” She warned with an alluring smirk. “Charlie over there isn’t even one of our better pickpockets.”</p><p>“Good to know,” The airman muttered. </p><p> “Seriously, you’re Barton’s sister? I’m not buying it.”</p><p> “Tony.” There was that cool hint of warning in Nat’s voice again.</p><p> “What? I’m just saying, she doesn’t look like a freak.”</p><p>Kate laughed good naturedly. Her hands on her hips, she glanced up at Clint whose eyes were narrowed in the direction the kids had disappeared in, the wheels clearly turning behind the tint of his shades. She had said Charlie as in short for Charles. Like a certain Charles Bernard Barton.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>Her laughter fading, Kate clicked her tongue. “Now he’s getting it.”</p><p>“Barney’s kid?”</p><p>Kate cheeked hitched up in a humorless smile. “Guess I could have told you the kid you were manhandling was your nephew.”</p><p>“No shit, Kate. Ya think?” A sour knot of dread took up in his stomach. He knew coming had been a bad idea. </p><p>“Relax Hawk,” With a toss of her hair, she was rolling her eyes again, this time at him. “It’s not a big deal.”</p><p>“Yeah Kate, it is. Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have come.”</p><p>“Then why did you?” She asked, her cool blue eyes narrowing suddenly in suspicion.</p><p>She was sizing him up, watching his micromovements with the same skill and natural wariness for outsiders that he had taught her as a child. She was looking at him not like he was family, but just another rube - a townie that couldn’t be trusted. He supposed he should be proud that something he had taught her had actually stuck but in that moment, her distrust cut deep.</p><p>“What are you doing here Hawk?” </p><p>“That’s what I want to know.”</p><p>They were five of the highest trained special operatives, spysassins, enhanced soldiers, and one billionaire tech genius so it was hard to believe that not a one of them had heard his approach but here he was. Barney appeared like a ghost out of the long shadows cast by the dilapidated outbuildings and mothballed rides.   </p><p>“I heard we had visitors but I never in a million years would I have expected this,” The oldest Barton greeted with the same saccharine smile that haunted Clint’s dreams. “If it isn’t the prodigal son returned. My one and only baby bro.”</p><p>“Barney," Clint regarded his brother coldly.</p><p>Barney smirked, his arms folded across his chest. “So are you going to answer her question, or maybe you couldn’t hear it. Shame on you, Kate. You know Clint here is a bit hard of hearing.” Cupping his hands around his mouth, Barney took an exaggerated breath before shouting, “She said, wha -.”</p><p>“I can hear just fine asshole.”</p><p>Dropping his hands, the amusement disappeared from Barney’s face and was replaced instead by something colder and far more personal than open hatred. Clint would be lying if he didn’t say the feeling was mutual.</p><p>“I invited him,” Kate spoke up quickly, forever the little girl trying her best to stop her brother’s squabbles before they started.</p><p>“Is that so?” Barney questioned, his voice casual though his eyes did not move away from his estranged brother. “And his friends? You invite them too?”</p><p>“Yes,” The lie fell gracefully from her lips. “Mamaie always loved a good turnout. I thought she would have gotten a kick out of it – The Avengers and all coming to her tribute.”</p><p>Barney let out incredulous snort. “Right.”</p><p>“This is a difficult time for your family and we don’t want to cause any trouble,” Steve said, taking on the role of peacekeeper. “We can leave -.”</p><p>Forever the showman, it was scary how quick Barney’s face transformed into that of the animated barker. “And miss the show? We can’t have that. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, friend, a backstage pass to the world famous Tiboldt’s Circus as has never before been experienced by an outsider and perhaps never will be again.”</p><p>“And what’s the price for admission? Friend,” Tony, who knew a sales pitch when he heard one, questioned suspiciously.</p><p>“For you, nothing,” Barney answered with a smirk and a wink before allowing the entertainers mask to slip revealing for just a moment the monster that was hidden beneath. “Say goodbye to our guests Kate, it’s time to get ready.”</p><p>There was something off about Kate’s face when Barney’s calloused hand closed tight around her thin wrist. It wasn’t a wince exactly and it only lasted a half a second but Clint saw it. He saw and he knew. In a place where nothing was ever right anyway, things were definitely more F’d up than usual. Was that why she had reached out to him for the first time in years? Was that the real reason she’d told him about the tribute? She wasn’t stupid. From the time she was old enough to walk he had taught her never to take a step she wasn’t sure of. She had known the risk of him coming and yet invited him anyway. The taste of vomit crept up the back of his throat as he remembered the bruises that she had tried to hide in New Mexico. Her head high, she matched Barney’s quick stride step for step but as far as Clint was concerned he might as well have been being dragging her off by her hair.   </p><p>“Any coward can beat the crap out of a girl!” The archer shouted past clenched teeth. “Let’s see you try that shit on me.”</p><p>Barney stopped. With Kate’s arm still tight in his grasp he turned slowly around. “You got something to say to me?”</p><p>“Pretty sure I said it,” Clint answered. “You got a problem with me being here you take it up with me but leave Kate out of it.”</p><p>“You just don’t know when to turn the hero shit off, do you baby brother?”</p><p>“What’s wrong Trickshot, you afraid?” Clint challenged.</p><p>“Of you? Ha!” Barney laughed. “I <em>made</em> you, boy. Or did you forget where you come from?”</p><p>“Then let’s go. Me and you, just like the old days.”</p><p>“Hawk, n-!”</p><p>“Shut up!” Barney cut off Kate’s protest, giving her arm a hard twist. “You stupid, spoiled, little bitch.”</p><p>“I think it’s time you let her go,” Came Nat’s cool and composed voice from Clint’s left elbow.</p><p>“I agree,” Came Cap sounding slightly less composed on his right.</p><p>“Is that right? Take a good look around you, folks. In case you missed it you’re not in Kansas no more and this don’t concern you, being a family matter and all,” Barney sneered but he let go of Kate’s arm all the same.</p><p>Clint didn’t have to move a single muscle to know there were at least a dozen roustabouts, maybe more, lurking in the shadows, slowly closing in on them. It’s exactly what he would have set up if he were in Barney’s shoes.</p><p>“Enough of your bullshit, Barney,” Clint said, ignoring their audience and drawing the attention back to him. “We doing this or what?”</p><p>“I’ve waited 15 years for your punk ass to have the balls to show -.”</p><p>Hawkeye interrupted him with an overexaggerated yawn. “Goddamn, are you still talking? ‘Cause honestly at this rate, I got a better chance of keeling over from old age standing here.”</p><p>“The center ring. Now.” Spit dribbled down Barney’s chin as his lips curled back.</p><p>Yeah, Clint had him good and pissed off now.</p><p>“Lead the way, <em>brother</em>.” </p><p>His shoulders squared, the oldest Barton turned sharp on his heels while Kate watched with wide almost fearful eyes.</p><p>“Run,” Clint ordered under his breath, just like he had when she was little and Barney was on the warpath.</p><p>Kate flinched but she did not move. She just stood there watching Barney stalk towards the big top. Then with her head down, slow and obedient, she followed.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dead or Else Really Incapacitated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>~ 17 years ago ~</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s dark,” Kate whined.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There’s nothing to be afraid of about the dark,” Clint reassured her for the hundredth time. If she had paid better attention she would have noticed the anxiety in his voice. The cagey way he kept looking over his shoulder. “Come on now Kit Kat.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t want to!” She protested loudly, stamping her little foot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Damn it Kate!” He hissed grabbing her by the arm and giving her a little shake so she’d be quiet. His grip softened when she whimpered. He tried another approach. “You trust me, don’t you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pouting, she nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good,” He clucked her playfully under the chin. “I know you don’t like it in there now but Barney’s comin’ and he’s in a mood so you just got to mind me, alright? You got to make yourself small, okay. Squeeze in real tight, get yourself nice and cozy and stay quiet. Can you do that for me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sniffed. “Okay.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good girl.” He picked her up and gave her a tight hug before lifting her into her secret hidey hole. “Nice and quiet, alright? And don’t come out until I come and get you.”</em>
</p><p>
  
  <em>“Wait!” She cried, before he could put the panel back in place. “What if you don’t?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I will, Kitty Kat. I promise.”</em>
</p><p>
  
  <em>“What if you can’t?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He made that sound like he was really tired. Like at bedtime when she asked for just one more story after he’d already told her two. “I will come back for you, okay? Now hush up.”</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>~ Present Day ~</strong>
</p><p> Hawkeye’s promise echoed in her brain as Kate fought to draw a breathe past Barney’s grip around her throat. She could smell the lingering stench of a rotting cavity on his breath as he nuzzled his nose against her bruised and tender cheek. She clawed at his thick forearm, the tendons flexing beneath her nails as he tightened his hold.</p><p>“I swear to God Kate, if that tight little body of yours wasn’t so good at selling tickets I’d kill you.”</p><p>She should have listened to Clint and run when she had the chance. She should have done a lot of things. But she hadn’t and as soon as they left Hawk and his friends in the boneyard Barney was dragging her to the big top, into the semi privacy of the staging area where no one cared what Barney did to her. Here he was King.</p><p>He gave one last hard squeeze before letting go and she fell to her knees, coughing and gasping as the air burned in her chest. </p><p>Kate bit back a whimper as Barney stepped on her left hand. It wasn’t hard or anything, just enough to be sure he still had her attention. “Guess I’ll have to settle on killing the original Hawkeye instead.”</p><p>“No!” Her choked cry was cut off by his swift kick to her ribs and she was left lying there in the dirt behind a prop box with nothing but her blood and tears and Clint’s stupid promise. </p><p>He’d kept to his word and come back for her. It only took him fifteen goddamn years but it’s not like she’d been counting or anything. Him bringing his friends along had been a surprise but at this point she didn’t see what it could hurt either. Barney wasn’t exactly an Avenger size asshole but she wouldn’t mind seeing Captain America take a swing or two at him.</p><p>Kate’s eyes drifted closed. She wanted to say her entire body hurt but that would be an overstatement. Her ribs definitely hurt. And her throat. Her face. Her left cheek particularly. Her lip was fat and her mouth was full of the taste of dirty pennies. She checked her teeth with her tongue – none were loose that she could tell - and she spat blood in the packed dirt. Yeah, she’d definitely be okay letting Captain America wail on Barney for a bit.</p><p>Past the curtain she could hear the muffled thwump thwump thwack of the fight happening in the center ring. Barney was goading Hawk which meant he felt he had the upper hand still. She kind of thought with Hawkeye being an Avenger and all that, that maybe he’d have knocked Barney on his ass by now but Barney was right, he had made Hawkeye. Or at least he kind of had. He had kind of made both of them.</p><p>Rolling to her knees, she whined. Besides her ribs and her face, her left arm hurt worst of all. It throbbed so bad that it made her want to puke. Her breath stuttered in her chest and she clutched her elbow as she gained her feet. She did not have time for this bullshit. Sticking to the shadows she only staggered once or twice as she made her way to the curtain.   </p><p>It filled her with at least some vindication to see Barney’s face looking maybe worse than hers felt. His bare chest was streaked with dust and blood as he locked up with Hawk. Quickly, she scanned the bleachers. The fight had drawn some spectators and the Avenger’s were standing together looking all sorts of confused. </p><p>This wasn’t just an ordinary fight, it was a full out brawl. It was decades worth of hate and abuse. There was an animosity between the brothers that even she didn’t fully understand but she knew that right now in that moment they wouldn’t stop until one of them was dead or like, really incapacitated, and she needed very much for Clint to not be that person.</p><p>Hawk landed a blow so hard to Barney’s middle that even Kate winced but then Barney paid him back by knocking his legs out from under him. At first she thought he’d choke him – after all that had been his go to move lately – but then she saw the glint of the blade of the knife he kept in his boot. That was enough to get her to forget her pain for a least a minute.</p><p>Her feet were light and fast as she streaked across the arena. What she didn’t have in size she made up for with determination and the element of surprise. She managed to knock Barney off his game at least long enough for Clint to regain his feet.</p><p>“You goddamn stupid bitch!” Barney snarled at her. </p><p>“Language,” Hawk smirked which okay, was weird, but Kate wasn’t about to question it as he punched Barney square in his already swollen jaw.</p><p>Regrouping herself, she stripped down to her tights, stepping quickly out of her skirt and winding it between her hands. When Barney lunged for Hawk, she took the opportunity to jump on his back and slip the coiled fabric around his neck. Twisting herself around so that they were back to back, she cried out. A hot rod of pain shot through her arm as she held tight to the material and slid to her knees dragging him down with her. Her victory was short lived. Barney flipped over her and before she could do anything to protect herself, kneed her in the face.</p><p>“Get out of here!” Clint barked at her.</p><p>On all fours, she was scrabbling when Barney sliced at her with the knife. It happened so fast she hadn’t even registered it yet when he then kicked her hard enough that for a split second she was airborne. Then his attention was back on Hawkeye and she was left trying to remember how to breathe and figure out where this new blood was coming from. </p><p>Strange hands were reaching for her now, pulling her upright. Her brain was kind of dumb and it took her a minute to figure out that they belonged to Tony Stark and Captain America.  Stark smelled good and the Captain, well he looked good. Big and tall and muscle-y.</p><p>“Alright kid, time to let the grownups take it from here.”</p><p>“Wait, what? No. No!” Kate protested, swatting them away. “Get off me!”</p><p>“That cut is bad,” The Black Widow was all low soothing tones like Kate was an injured bird who she was afraid might fly off. “Clint can take care of himself.”</p><p>“I-I’m fine.” She wasn’t. Shit, the gash in her side hurt like hell. Possibly worse than her arm and her ribs and her face combined but she didn’t have time to worry about it right now. She shoved blindly past them. At least her legs and feet were still working right.</p><p>“Out of my way! Out of my way!” She cried, waving her one good arm wildly in front of her as she dodged and weaved between the crowd of heavy men and performers that had gathered. She knew these people, they were her family, but right now they could all just take a flying fuck off.  Their loyalties were to Barney and hers, well, right now hers weren’t.  </p><p>All she had to do was get to the riser that led up to the tightwire, climb, and get her bow. So three things. And get off a clean shot. Four things. She could manage four things. Except her hands were slick with blood and she lost her grip on the handholds. She paused only to dry them on her tights and kept going, kicking out of her boots as she made her climb.</p><p>There were two tightwires, one crisscrossing below the other and Kate’s was the highest one at twenty feet. Of course she hadn’t measured it and like everything else at Tiboldt’s it could have been an over exaggeration but she didn’t think so. At least not now when her entire body protested the climb that she’d made at least ten times a day, every day for more than half her life.</p><p>“Get me a shot,” She breathed as she made the platform and grabbed her bow and quiver. “Come on Hawk, get me a clean shot.”</p><p>Up here she didn’t have to think. Walking the wire was second nature to her; like breathing which actually was kind of hard right now, but still. Kate knew the wires. She was as comfortable on them as she was on solid ground. It was nothing for her to find her center and take that first step or the two dozen or so to follow that saw her at the center of the big top. There was no net beneath her, hadn’t been one for a long time now. The last time she remembered walking a wire with a net underneath Clint had been there. Clint had always been the one to protect her and keep her safe, at least he was before he’d left. Now he was back and twenty feet below her him and Barney were trying to kill each other.</p><p>Dead or else really, really incapacitated, that was the only way this would end, and as much as she enjoyed Clint beating the crap out of their brother (or was their brother beating the crap out of Clint?) she still had the bigger picture in the forefront of her mind.</p><p>Kate notched a bolt. The slash in her side hated the movement. A lot. A low hum escaped her throat while she centered herself again.</p><p>“One shot. Just one. One shot.” It sort of became her mantra while she waited on her perch on the center of the highwire. She had her target and at the moment that was all there was so she  watched and waited, calculating and recalculating again and again, never mind that she hadn’t actually hit a target in weeks. Not since the pain in her arm started and made it too difficult to draw her bow properly. She was choosing to ignore that little fact.</p><p>Things lining up, she let out a long high whistle, not her best given her busted lip, but Barney still heard it. He stopped wailing on Hawkeye and like a tracker beam turned and glared right up at her. Her arm screamed in protest and stars flashed in front of her eyes as she drew her bow, and Barney, the stupid bastard, had the nerve to laugh.</p><p>“I don’t know if you realize this but you haven’t had the best aim lately,” He shouted up at her swiping the blood an sweat from his brow. “You take that shot, you better be damn sure not to miss.”</p><p>That taste of dirty pennies filled her mouth again as she gritted her teeth, biting back a whimper. The gash in her side felt like it would rip her in two. Clint lay like a lump just behind Barney’s feet, looking up at her like either he was lost or she was.</p><p>“I don’t. Plan. To miss,” She hissed. With that she let the bolt fly. It hit the ground hard just shy of Barney’s left foot. He jumped half a foot to his right and laughed again. </p><p>“You’re going to regret that!”</p><p>“Maybe but doubtful,” She gritted to nobody but herself. Quicker than spit she notched, drew, and fired her second bolt, hitting her target straight on. The pully rope slithered to the ground, dropping the weigh that triggered the snare trap that was party of the clown’s intermission show. Before Barney knew it he was flying upside down twenty feet above the center ring. </p><p>And before she could appreciate the fact that she had actually made the shot, Kate was falling. </p><p>She pitched her bow and quiver away from her body and caught herself, somewhat gracelessly, on the 12-foot wire below her. Panting hard, her vision narrowed and the noises around her were suddenly muffled. On all fours, one knee in front of the other, one hand in front of the other, she would later wonder if this was how the world sounded to Hawk. Then her legs, which had been the only part of her body actually working a few minutes ago, failed her, and her whole body swung around so that instead of balancing on top of the wire she now hung from it. Her scream cut through the big top like Barney’s knife as her injured arm failed to take her weight. For less than a second she hung on with her good arm before falling in a crumpled heap on the hard packed dirt below.</p><p>There were voices. And words. Though none of them made any sense. Her brain was dumb. Really, really, dumb. She was trying but couldn’t make herself breathe. Then all of a sudden she could and she was choking on air. </p><p>“Kate. Goddamn it, Kate!” Hawkeye was yelling in her face which was super rude all things considered and she wanted to tell him so but she was still trying to figure out the whole breathing thing. “What the hell were you thinking?”</p><p>She was thinking that she just needed a minute. And that there was a new pain to add to her list. At this rate she was basically just one giant bruise which really, really sucked. Also a thank you might be nice seeing as she had sort of saved his sorry ass.</p><p>Barney was yelling from somewhere in the background. Demanding to be cut down. </p><p>“We need to get you out of here,” That low and soothing voice again. Black Widow was hovering in the outer borders of Kate’s slowly returning peripheral vision. “Both of you.”</p><p>“After that fall I don’t think she’s walking out of here.” Someone else said. Was it the guy whose wallet Charlie pinched? Sam Something. She wasn’t sure what his last name was.</p><p>“Tony, suit up and fly ahead. Get the quinjet ready for a medical transport. We’ll be right behind you.” Kate was almost certain that was Captain America speaking. </p><p>“Roger, Rogers.”</p><p>Someone was picking her up now and she wanted to protest. Needed to. She couldn’t go with them. Her dumb brain knew this much even if it wasn’t quite working right but she couldn’t figure out the words to say so. </p><p>“No!” She finally croaked. “Put me down.”</p><p>“Kate, stop.” Hawk’s face hovering over hers, he looked like crap warmed over. Things were becoming clearer now. Captain freaking America was cradling her in his oh so very delicious arms and Clint was at her head at least trying to sound like a concerned brother with  his face was all kinds of jacked. “You can’t stay here. Clever as your trick was, one way or another Barney is going to get down and you can’t be here when he does.”</p><p>“You’re not here to save me!” Finally finding her words, they came tumbling out of her in a giant jumbled mess that barely made sense even to her. “Nice and cozy and don’t come out until I come back for you.”</p><p>Clint blinked. Well, winked since one eye was already pretty much swollen shut. “What?”</p><p>“It’s dark,” She whimpered, the salt of her tears burning in her wounds. “I taught her to hide, Hawk. Just like you taught me.”</p><p>Clint went wide eyed and staggered back like she’d just gone and hit him. </p><p>“Oh shit.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. His Childhood, Personified</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no time for questions and even if there were Clint didn’t know which one he’d ask first. Besides, even in her definitely concussed  state Kate had told him everything he needed to know, for now at least, and he was already moving on auto, making for the exit.</p><p>“Get her to the jet. We’ll meet you there,” He heard Nat order Cap and Sam. He didn’t wait for their response.</p><p>Word must have spread through the camp about the fight because the crowd was getting thick. Some faces he recognized, others he didn’t. Either way  he didn’t care as he pushed his way through them.</p><p>“Care to brief me in?” Nat asked from his side when they cleared the tent.</p><p>“Nope.” Moving with clear purpose, his reply was clipped. He made a beeline towards the trailers that made up the circus camp, not giving two craps about who saw them. Just let someone try to stop him.</p><p>There was no rhyme or reason when it came to how the trailers were situated. There never had been. People just parked wherever and that was it. Sure, there was a certain class system at play – performers usually stuck with performers, clowns with clown, concession workers with other concessions, etc. – but your neighbors changed as often as the venue. The only thing that didn’t change was Mamaie’s old ’56 airstream bubble. For as long as he could remember, and probably twenty years before that, it had been at the heart of every camp in every town that Tiboldt’s Circus ever visited and it did something to Clint to see that even though the old girl was gone, her trailer remained.</p><p>He was empty handed. No bow. No gun. Not even a freaking pocket knife. In the interest of fairness he’d handed everything he had over to Nat before the fight which he could admit, was probably his first mistake. Well, okay second. The first had probably been challenging Barney to begin with though he really couldn’t say he regretted it. His face might but he didn’t. Barney deserved every last lick he gave him. But still, he was empty handed as they approached the trailer until Nat nudged his arm and offered him a fixed blade. It took him a second to even recognize it as his own.</p><p>He could swear that the door creaked exactly the way he remembered. The shocks groaned beneath his weight as he mounted the step. The mixed smell of patchouli, pot and lavender burned in his nose and yet it was so painfully familiar that if he could he would revel in it. Everything was the same. Everything. The knick knacks on the shelves. The threadbare quilt on the double bed. It was all still there. His childhood, personified.</p><p>Nat was waiting, her patience seemingly infinite. Anyone else on the team would have asked him just what the hell they were doing but not Nat. She trusted him and she didn’t trust many so without knowing where they were or what they were looking for, she was just fine to wait for her partner to make the first move.</p><p>He’d probably been six or 7 when he first found where Mamaie stashed her good ‘shine. He wasn’t supposed to be in her trailer alone, no one was, but he’d been hiding out trying to avoid doing his chores when he’d bounced a rubber ball against the wood paneled walls and noticed a hollow sound. The space was barely big enough to stash the case of mason jars he found but finding it had been huge because while Barney had him beat at a lot of things Clint had always been better at fitting into tight spaces.</p><p>He ran his hand over the smooth fake wood until he found the spot where it gave just a little. Before even removing the panel he could tell something was crammed inside the hidden compartment or more likely, someone. Careful, he used the tip of his knife to pry the panel free. Nothing. Nothing but a black nylon bag shoved into the tight space. He looked to Nat who looked at the bag with a curious look on her face. Then they heard it, a noise so quiet that he definitely would have missed it without his hearing aids.</p><p>A sniffle so soft that it could have been made by a mouse, followed by the tiniest voice he thought he had ever heard. “I wet. I sorry. I wet.”</p><p>At this point very little actually surprised him anymore, but his short hairs stood on end. Snatching the bag, he yanked it out of the cubby with one hard pull. He knew! After what Kate had said he freaking knew what he was going to find, but still he wasn’t ready.</p><p>She was curled into the smallest of balls in the corner of the cabinet reeking of urine and with a fading glowstick clutched in her trembling hands. She let out a startled squeak. Then taking one look at Clint’s busted and unfamiliar face she started making that anxious whiny sound kids made right before they started to cry. There was nowhere left for her to go in the cabinet and yet she was scrambling to get away from him.</p><p>“It’s okay  kid. I don’t bite.”</p><p>She answered him with a terrorized squeal. The girl was like a cornered animal, desperate and scared.</p><p>Nat placed a cool hand on Clint’s arm, her meaning clear: stand down. He took a step back. Let her see if she could do any better.</p><p>“It’s alright, little one. I’m Natasha and this is Clint,” Nat soothed, showing the child her empty (though still very deadly) hands. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re here to help you.”</p><p>The girl was still pressed into the farthest corner of the cupboard but at least the squealing stopped. Nat shot Clint a sidelong look. It would be nothing for either of them to just grab the kid and drag her from her hiding spot but that probably wasn’t the right approach. Besides his head was starting to throb and even if he turned his hearing aides down, her screaming would probably make the headache worse.</p><p>“What’s your name, little one?” Nat pressed gently.</p><p>No answer.</p><p>“Kate sent us,” Clint announced, his tone probably a little gruffer and more impatient than he meant it to be.</p><p>The girls tiny body relaxed just a little. Her blue eyes wide, her voice was smaller than she was, “K-kate?”</p><p>Natasha gave her a reassuring nod. “We can take you to her.”</p><p>Clint saw the doubt in the kids eyes. How old was she? No older than Kate had been when he’d taught her to hide. To never trust strangers. To trust family even less.</p><p>He swallowed his guilt. “You can trust us, okay? We’re not going to hurt you. Kate’s my baby sister. We’re going to take you both somewhere safe.”</p><p>Her little brow furrowed. “H-hawk?”</p><p>He tried to smile but it was probably more like a grimace. Damn, his face hurt. “That’s right.”</p><p>She wriggled herself out of the corner. Reaching up, Nat caught her under the arms and brought the kid down, cradling the tiny body against her chest. She was so damn small and swimming in a threadbare and piss soaked shirt. The spysassins exchanged a look. Quickly Clint stripped the worn quilt from the double bed and covered her with it. While he took up the black duffle bag and slipped it across his body, Nat bundled the nameless kid up.</p><p>Apparently not everyone had gone to the big top. When they stepped out of the trailer, Clint in front, Nat with the kid on his six, they found two twitchy assholes waiting, both looking like they were in need of a fix. Clint put his arm out on reflex, shielding Nat and the kid. He recognized one of them, or at least he thought he did. He’d worked one of the rides - the Ferris Wheel, maybe. Couldn’t remember a name though.</p><p>“Oh hey, Hawkeye,” The carny drawled, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his ratty jeans. He was fidgety on his feet, not looking at Clint, but past him. “Say, whatcha got there?”</p><p>It wasn’t the kid he was asking about and they all knew it. He was looking right at Nat, all pouty lips and sinful curves who looked only marginally less lethal in her civilian clothes. Even with the sniffling bundle in her arms, Clint knew Nat was more than capable of handling her own. In fact, he’d probably enjoy watching her dispose of the two, but they didn’t have the time and he damn sure didn’t have the patience today.</p><p>“Out of our way.”</p><p>Frick and Frack exchanged a dim look, before turning back to them. “And what if we don’t?”</p><p>Clint let out a heavy sigh. “Then I sit back and watch her cut your balls off and shove them down your throats. Now who wants to go first?”</p><p>Another dim look was shared. Seriously, these guys were dumb. And by the looks of them, jonesing. Meth was the drug of choice for most carnies. Clint tried different approach. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a few crumpled up bills and tossed them into the dirt. It was pathetic really, the way the two eyed the cash which probably amounted to no more than thirty bucks.</p><p>“Have at it boys,” Clint muttered when they fell on it like vultures. He nudged Nat’s arm and they left as the two freaks squabbled amongst themselves.</p><p>They moved with quick purpose through the junkyard and back to the woods. Clint could feel them – the eyes watching their every move, closing in on them. Their guard was up. Even the kid had stopped her whimpering. She just stared up into the trees with those big fearful eyes like she could see the ghosts chasing them. Hell, maybe she could. All he knew is they all breathed easier once they made it to the lot. Tony had the quinjet powered up and the hatch opened, the engines purring in gentle welcome.</p><p>The hatch closed with a whisper behind them. Sam and Cap were waiting, both standing on the ready with Kate lying unconscious on the transport gurney attached to the wall.  </p><p>“How is she?” Clint demanded.</p><p> “Stable enough for transport. I – uh,” Sam was distracted for a moment by the squirming bundle in Nat’s arms. “I gave her a mild sedative. She got a little crazy.”</p><p>“She seemed worried,” Steve clarified. “I’m assuming about her?”</p><p>Their collective attention turned to the kid who was now whining and pushing against Nat, trying to get free. Nat let her go and she rushed to Kate’s side, the quilt around her like a cape.</p><p>She whimpered, pulling on Kate’s arm. Darting worried looks up at the Avengers towering over her, she spoke in the most frantic of whispers,  “I sorry I wet, Kate. I sorry!” except it came out, ‘sowwy’.</p><p>“It’s alright little one,” Nat soothed, crouching down and placing a calm hand on her trembling shoulder. “It’s alright. Kate is asleep right now but we are going to look after you until she wakes up.”</p><p>The kid was going to cry again. Her face was doing that quivery thing and she kept blinking up at them like she might run screaming if any of them so much as said boo. She seemed the most scared of Clint and inched absently towards Cap rather than risk being too close to him. Was his face really that bad? Then it dawned on him. It probably wasn’t the busted up state of his face that bugged her so much as who he resembled under all the cuts and bruises.</p><p>Shit, he looked like Barney.</p><p>Stark hollered from the cockpit. “We ready to go or are we waiting for more of Barton’s family to join us?”</p><p>From where she crouched next to the kid, Nat met Clint’s eyes. She knew. Nat always knew. And wrapping the kid up in the old moth eaten quilt, she scooped her up again before whisking her away, murmuring soothing words in both English and Russian as she did.</p><p>Sam and Cap took their seats. Dropping the duffle bag on the floor at his feet, Clint took the empty spot at the head of Kate’s gurney. The quinjet lifting off, Stark (and Jarvis) at the controls, Clint leaned back with a heavy sigh.</p><p>He had questions now. Like whose kid had he just rescued/kidnapped? What was her name? Who was Kate protecting her from and why?</p><p>Why?</p><p>Blinking, he frowned down at Kate who didn’t look to be answering his questions any time soon. Her lip was busted, her jaw swollen, her hair matted with sweat and dirt. Blood. Clint kept searching but he couldn’t find any trace of the little girl he remembered. Finally he gave up and pulled the wool blanket that someone (probably Cap) had covered her with, up to her chin. He swept her hair out of her eyes and settled in for the flight home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Bullshit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Change of plans. I'm posting for my own amusement and gratification now. Plus my sister told me to.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of all the chairs in the Avengers Tower, the ones in the medical wing were definitely the least comfortable but Clint wasn’t picky. He’d flipped a chair around so he could put his feet up  and slouching down, his hands tucked in his armpits, had actually managed a little sleep while he waited. Aside from a quick shower and change of clothes, he hadn’t left his post. Even when one of the nurses demanded he get checked over, he obliged but only when she came to him. He made it pretty clear that he wasn’t leaving.</p><p>Everything and everyone in med bay was quiet. It was all soft voices and gentle sounds. Even the sliding doors glided open with a hushed whisper. Clint opened an eye. It was Nat, carrying a plate and a bottle of water. He smelled pepperoni so he sat up, taking his feet down so she could sit in the chair facing him.</p><p>“How’s she doing?” Nat asked once he’d taken his first bite of pizza.</p><p>A domestic flight from Florida to New York took about two hours but the quinjet did it in half that. Kate hadn’t so much as flinched when they offloaded her and within minutes of landing she was whisked away to medical by the team of lab coats. That was five hours ago and the last he’d seen her. </p><p>He chewed. Swallowed. Took a swig of water. “They have her in surgery now. Doc said the break in her arm knitted wrong and they’d have to re-break it to set it right.”</p><p>Nat gave a sympathetic shake of her head. “Did you get to talk to her?”</p><p>Clint frowned. He hadn’t. “Did you get anything out of the kid?”</p><p>It was her turn to frown, a tiny wrinkle taking up between her perfectly arched brows. “She hasn’t said a word.”</p><p>He wasn’t surprised. Circus brats were taught to stay quiet around outsiders at least until they could tell a good lie.</p><p>“I ordered some clothes for her and managed to give her a bath. She ate like she’s never seen a hot meal.”</p><p>This also didn’t surprise Clint.</p><p>“Where is she now?” His voice came out a little hoarse.</p><p>“Asleep in my room. Jarvis is babysitting.”</p><p>He gave a dry snort. And here they thought Jarvis’ babysitter protocol was just for Tony’s drunken escapades and keeping tabs on the Winter Soldier’s whereabouts while he was a guest in the tower. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Nat asked.</p><p>Clint frowned down at the empty plate in his lap, he must have been hungrier than he thought. “Her arm. Doc said the break was a month old.”</p><p>“We saw her on the tight rope. Maybe she fell,” Nat suggested.</p><p>He shook his head. “She texted me two months ago to tell me our grandmother died. If I had gone then instead of dorking around here maybe I could have -.”</p><p>“You don’t know what happened,” She cut him off, her voice still calm and soothing.</p><p>“The hell I don’t, Nat!” Clint exploded. “I know better than anyone how things were there. How freaking insane Barney was. I just left her there! Instead of protecting her like I was supposed to I abandoned her.”</p><p>“You were a kid, Clint.”</p><p>“Bullshit I was.” The guilt burned in his throat. Stung his eyes. “I saved my own ass and to hell with anyone else.” </p><p>Before she could say anything, Nat’s phone pinged with an alert. Judging by her face it was an update from Jarvis about the kid. “I have to go.”</p><p>Clint nodded. “Yep.”</p><p>“You should get some sleep.”</p><p>His jaw tight, he nodded again. As the doors whispered closed behind her, he settled back into his seat. He’d left Kate once, he wasn’t about to do it again.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Uh, Good Morning?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She didn’t dream. At least, she didn’t think she did. She’d opened her eyes a couple times and seen Hawk slumped in a chair asleep next to her and once there’d been a doctor or someone who said something to her but she didn’t remember what and was too tired to care. Her head felt heavy and her brain was slow. Really, really, really slow. But the pain was gone or at least wasn’t as bad.  </p><p>Kate woke up again and it was daytime, or at least she thought it was. The curtains were drawn closed but the lighting in the room was different. Brighter. Her head felt a little clearer and she could keep her eyes open. She blinked. Moved a little. Groaned. Yup, that still hurt.</p><p>Hawk was standing in the doorway with a paper cup that smelled suspiciously like coffee in his hand. “You’re awake.”</p><p>She looked around. She had never actually been inside a hospital before but she was pretty sure she was in one now. A fancy hospital. Like, really fancy. Way nicer than they ever looked on TV.</p><p>“Where am I?” Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.</p><p>“The medical wing at Avenger’s Tower,” Hawkeye answered, sitting in the chair next to her bed. His face looked better than she remembered it looking in the big top. Marginally.</p><p>Her nose wrinkled. “New York?”</p><p>He nodded. “How you feeling?”</p><p>Like crap but she didn’t tell him that. Instead she answered his question with questions of her own, struggling to sit up in the bed. “Where’s Chrissy? Did you find her? Is she okay?”</p><p>His eyebrows arched up. “So she does have a name.”</p><p>What the hell? Besides feeling like her side wanted to rip in two, there was a huge cast on her arm which was strapped to her body. This was not cool. Way not cool She needed her arm to well - to do stuff.</p><p>“Hold on. You’re going to bust a stitch,” Hawk pushed her back into the bed. “Just, stop.”</p><p>“Where’s Chrissy? I need -.”</p><p>“She’s safe,” He moved so that he was sitting on the side of the bed, barring her from getting out of it. “She’s safe, Kate. We got her.”</p><p>Tears burned in her eyes. She hated that she couldn’t control the quiver in her lip. “You did?”</p><p>She watched Hawkeye’s throat contract with his swallow. “Yeah. Right where you said she’d be.”</p><p>Blinking away the tears, Kate sniffed and wiped her nose against the shoulder of her hospital gown. “Good. That’s good. So she’s okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s okay. Hasn’t said a word to anyone but she’s okay,” He frowned. “Kate, you’re going to have to tell me everything. I can help you but not if I don’t know what the hell is going on.”</p><p>“I tried,” Her throat felt tight and her voice came out all raspy. “I was trying.”</p><p>“Whose kid is she? Yours?”</p><p>“What? Ew. No,” She looked at him like he’d gone and lost his damn head. “Don’t be gross. She’s nobodies.”</p><p>Now it was his turn to make a face. “She can’t be ‘nobodies’, Kate. She’s somebodies kid. Barney’s?”</p><p>“God, no.” She shook her head. “She’s nobodies. She belongs to no one.”</p><p>“You’re going to have to give me more than that.” There was that tone again. Annoyed. Familiar. Like a big brother who was tired and losing his patience.</p><p>“It’s a long story.”</p><p>He looked really unamused. “I’ve got time.”</p><p>“Her mom was some tweaker chick Barney picked up outside of Reno like four years ago. Six months later Chrissy came along.” Her cheek twitched in a smirk. “Even you can do that math.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “So where’s her mom now?”</p><p>“She overdosed spring before last. We were in Maine, I think. The season had just started. Chrissy was barely even walking yet.”</p><p>“Geez,” Hawk rolled his shoulders, a frown between his eyes. Built up tension needing a release. “Okay. Did anyone try to contact her family?”</p><p>“What family?” She would have laughed but it hurt. “There was no family – at least not that she told any of us about. As far as anyone ever knew Chrissy was one of ours.”</p><p>Her brother made a noise like a growl in the back of his throat. “So what, you’ve been taking care of her all this time?”</p><p>Kate pursed her lips. “You know how Mamaie was. She took her in. But she couldn’t keep up with a young’un the way she used to so I had to help. We took care of her. Kept her safe.”</p><p>“By hiding her in the cupboard?”</p><p>“Gee, I wonder who I got the idea from?” Kate accused. “I did what I had to. Now shut up. I’m trying to explain.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow but at least he kept quiet.</p><p>“Barney’d been talking a lot that he knew someone, some guy, who would pay good money for, you know, a little girl. This was back even before her mama died. They’d get in a bad way and Barney would say that he could set them up nice. Just had to give him Chrissy.”</p><p>Hawkeye sat stiffer on the side of the bed. His jaw was tight, like Barney’s when he was good and pissed, and Kate had to remind herself that they weren’t the same. Hawk wasn’t about to haul off and hit her. He might say something stupid, probably ask another question, but he wouldn’t hit her.</p><p>“Mamaie wasn’t about to let him do it though. He so much as looked at Chrissy and she’d tell him to piss off. She was too young to be of any other use to him so he left her alone for the most part. We took good care of her Hawk, I promise,” Her voice waivered just a little bit on the end and the tears threatened again. “But then Mamaie died and I – I couldn’t stop him. I tried. Honest, I did. I kept her clear of him. I taught her to hide when I couldn’t be there, just like you taught me. I thought we could just, you know, we could leave. I tried. Twice. But we barely made it through the woods before he found us.”</p><p>“Is that when he broke your arm?”</p><p>“Said he was clipping my wings, but then it messed up my aim in the show and he was really <em>pissed</em>.” She looked down at her useless arm, tears running down her hot cheeks. “That’s when I had the idea of inviting you to the tribute. I knew even he couldn’t turn you away from that. I thought maybe if you came then you could just take her. I didn’t mean for you to fight him.”</p><p>Hawk sighed. Placing a gentle hand on her leg beneath the blanket he shook his head. “Don’t worry about that Kit-Kat.”</p><p>She met her brother’s eyes.  They were almost exactly like Barney’s but still completely different. They were how she remembered. Kind.  </p><p>“What’s going to happen to us now?” She asked quietly.</p><p>“They had to surgically repair your arm. There’s screws and metal plates and crap I don’t even know in there now holding the bone together.” He gave her that goofy half smile like he used when he was trying to make things not sound so scary. “You’ve got two cracked ribs and I don’t even know how many stitches. You jacked your ankle when you took that fall and you have a concussion. Right now you rest.”</p><p>“Can I see Chrissy?”</p><p>Rubbing his lips together, he nodded. “Yeah, we can do that. The doctor is going to want to check you out first but I think we can work something out.”</p><p>“Hawk?” She was getting sleepy again but was trying to fight it.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You look like shit.”</p><p>He smirked. “Yeah well, so do you.”</p><p>Kate settled back on the bed. She was determined not to fall back asleep. It was super awkward with Hawk sitting there on the side of her bed with nothing to say. Had he really been sitting beside her bed when she’d slept? That was kind of creepy. Maybe it had just been a dream. Oh wait. Shit, was she under arrest or something? Was Hawk her jailer?</p><p>She pushed up in the bed again but before she could say anything an old guy in a white doctors coat walked in. Not really old, like she doubted he was anyone’s grandpa, but he was definitely past middle aged and he smelled like soap.</p><p>“Good morning, Clint,” He greeted Hawk like they were friends or something but he barely even looked at her. “How’s our patient?”</p><p>“Better than when we brought her in.” He got up and moved away from the bed so the doctor could get a closer look at her.</p><p>“Good morning.” The doctor gave her a smile as he leaned in and put a stethoscope to her chest.</p><p>“Uh, good morning?” It was definitely a question at this point.</p><p>“She’s a little restless,” Hawkeye explained. “Think it’d be okay if I took her on a field trip?”</p><p>“Sure. Just keep it to the Tower. She’s likely to wear out quick. And be sure to keep her off that ankle. Until the swelling goes down we won’t be able to assess the true extent of her injury.”</p><p>Hawk stood there nodding like an idiot, his arms folded across his chest. “How long will her arm be in the immobilizer?”</p><p>“I shouldn’t think too long. A couple weeks then we’ll reassess and probably put her in a plaster cast,” The doctor talked fast. Too fast. Like he was in a hurry. Like he had more important places to be. He leaned over her with a penlight in his hand, flashing it in her eyes. “Has she complained of a headache?”</p><p>“Pretty sure any headache I have,” She swatted him away with her free hand, “Is thanks to present company.”</p><p>“Kate,” Hawkeye scolded.</p><p>“What?” She shot him a glare. “You two are talking about me like I’m not even here! That’s super rude! Guy comes in here and starts poking at me and shining his light in my eyes without so much as a howdy-do and I’m just supposed to be cool with it?”</p><p>“My apologies, Miss Barton,” The doctor grinned good naturedly. “I suppose I’m used to Clint being my patient.”</p><p>“Kate,” She corrected him, then to Hawk, “And what are you, the most accident prone Avenger?”</p><p>He didn’t laugh but the doctor did. “So why don’t you tell me more about this headache.”</p><p>“It’s super annoying. Kind of a nag actually,” She said straight at her brother. “But, I think I can live with it.”</p><p>Hawk looked just like that Tony Stark meme when he rolled his eyes but then he gave her a conspirators wink.</p><p>Kate couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. “You’re such a freaking nerd.”</p><p>“You know, I’m pretty sure I see the family resemblance,” The doctor chuckled as he stepped back. “You’re good to go, Kate. Just try not to overdo it. I’ll catch up with you later today to check in.”</p><p>“Fine by me.” She was already throwing back the covers. Before she could so much as tug at the hem of her hospital gown Hawkeye was dragging a wheelchair from the corner of the room. Her brows knitted together. “Uh, excuse you? I can walk, thanks.”</p><p>“You heard the Doc,” He told her, parking the wheelchair beside her bed, “You need to stay off that ankle.”</p><p>“You’re not pushing me around in that thing. I’m not a baby!”</p><p>“You sure? Cause you sure are whining like one.”</p><p>Jerk. She was not! Okay, so maybe a little but only because she wasn’t a baby and did not need to be pushed around in a freaking wheelchair like some kind of invalid.</p><p>The doctor was at the door, chuckling again. “I’ll leave you two to sort it out.”</p><p>“What’s it going to take?” Hawk asked after giving the doctor a half-assed salute.  “Do I have to bribe you with ice cream like when you were little?”</p><p>Kate glared at him. “Coffee. All the coffee.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>As if the stupid wheelchair weren’t bad enough, between her arm and the stitches and her ankle and the fact that she still felt like a really huge bruise her balance was totally off and Clint had to help her get from the bed to the chair. He was cool about at least and didn’t give her any shit but it was still embarrassing especially with the awkward hospital gown. Where the hell were her tights anyway? Where were any of her clothes?</p><p>“Here.” Hawk stripped the sheet from the bed and started to tuck it around her bare legs but she waved him off.</p><p>“I can do it,” She grumbled, trying her best with only one free hand to somewhat cover herself. Seriously, this was embarrassing.</p><p>By the time he rolled her out of her hospital room the headache was real and she was exhausted but also really intrigued by her surroundings. Everything was so sleek and shiny. Seriously, she had never seen anything like it anywhere, ever. It was like those movies that took place in the future only way nicer. She was kind of afraid to touch anything but also kind of wanted to touch all the things.</p><p>Hawk seemed really sure of himself here. He nodded hello to the nurses they passed on their way to a pair of frosted glass doors that opened at just the right moment. Beyond that there was a wall of windows and Kate’s eyes went kind of wide. She didn’t have an issue with heights but they were at least twenty stories up with nothing but cityscape in front of them. Before she could say anything though Hawk steered her to the left towards a bank of elevators.</p><p>There were no buttons and the elevator didn’t ding before the doors slid open. Hawkeye spun her around and wheeled her in backwards. Again, there were no buttons. Just a smooth glass screen where buttons should have been.</p><p>“Take us home, Jarvis.”</p><p>“Of course,” A man’s British accent answered.</p><p>“Home? Wait, you live here?” Kate looked up at her brother, confused. “And who the hell is Jarvis?”</p><p>“Yes I live here and that was Jarvis”</p><p>“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Barton,” The smooth voice spoke again. “If I can be of any assistance to you while you are a guest here in the tower please do not hesitate to ask.”</p><p>She looked around the elevator like she actually expected to find someone standing next to her. “Uh, okay.”</p><p>“Jarvis is an AI. He oversees everything here at the Tower,” Hawkeye explained.</p><p>“That’s…” She struggled to find the right word. “Weird.”</p><p>He shrugged, indifferent. “You get used to it.”</p><p>The doors opened, again without a ding, and He pushed her out into a surprisingly cush rec room. At least she thought it was called a rec room? It looked like the kind of place the cool kids always hung out at after school on those teen dramas. Comfy and super trendy. There was a giant leather sectional that looked like it would be the most amazing place ever to take a nap and a huge television screen and just past that was a fancy professional grade kitchen and a big glass dinner table that could seat at least a dozen people. That’s were Captain America was sitting just casual as could be in khakis and a polo shirt reading a newspaper with a bowl and mug in front of him.</p><p>He looked up as Hawkeye pushed her towards the kitchen and smiled. “Well look who’s up and about. Hi again.”</p><p>“Uh, hi,” Kate replied uncomfortably. Damn, his teeth were white.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” He asked.</p><p>Like she’d been hit by a freaking truck but that probably wasn’t the right thing to say.</p><p>“I’m alright,” She answered awkwardly, then after two too many beats asked, “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m good, thanks,” More smiling. More perfect teeth.</p><p>“Where’s Nat and the kid?” Hawk asked, leaving her sitting there feeling like a dumbass while he went to the coffee pot on the counter.</p><p>“The park,” The captain replied, getting up from the table and carrying his dishes over to the sink. “They should be back any time.”</p><p>Kate sat there, feeling ten different kinds of awkward while Captain freaking America stood at the sink with his absolutely perfect ass washing his breakfast dishes. An ass like that took some serious work. He probably did squats for days. And lunges. A ton of freaking lunges.</p><p>“Kate?”</p><p>“Huh?” Kate blinked. Hawk was giving her the weirdest look and she realized he had said something that in her revelry of the good captain’s ass, she’d missed. “What?”</p><p>“I asked if you were hungry.”</p><p>Oh! Actually, she was. Like really hungry. When was the last time she’d eaten?</p><p>“Um, yeah. Something to eat would be great.”</p><p>“We have cereal or there’s some oatmeal left,” The bootylicious Captain offered thoughtfully. “I can scramble you some eggs.”</p><p>Was this guy for real? No one was <em>that</em> helpful.</p><p>“Uh, cereal’s fine, thanks.”</p><p>Hawkeye put a steaming mug of coffee in her good hand. Oh my god, the aroma alone touched her soul. The cup beneath her nose, she was inhaling deep when Sam What’s-his-name walked in followed by… well hello there, tall, dark, and insanely freaking handsome. He was all broad shoulders and tapered waist with dark hair laced back in a bun. He barely gave her a passing glance but when he did she was sure she’d melt under his icy blue stare. It was enough to make her forget all about the captain and his amazingly patriotic rear.</p><p>“Oh, hey,” Sam greeted her. “What’s up? How are you feeling?”</p><p>Seriously, how many times was she going to have to answer that question today?</p><p>“Better. Thanks.”</p><p>Hawk pushed her wheelchair up to the table while Captain America brought over a bowl of cereal. He smiled again and set it down in front of her. Had he actually cut up a banana in it for her? This was too surreal.</p><p>“Thanks.” This was all super awkward. It felt like everyone was staring at her. “I um, I promise I’ll be out of your hair just as soon as I can.”</p><p>Hawkeye pulled out a chair and flipped it around so he could straddle it backwards. His expression reminded her of a cops. Like she was under interrogation. “Where do you think you’ll go?”</p><p>Chewing her cereal, she shrugged. “I dunno yet. I’ll figure something out. I have some money.”</p><p>“I saw that,” He said, slowly nodding.</p><p>Kate blinked. Shit! Her bag. Her bag that held literally anything she had ever had of value or meaning. The wad of cash she’d saved for like, ever. The watches and jewelry she’d swiped off rubes. Hawk knew what was in her bag and she had no clue what he would do with that knowledge.</p><p>“You went through my stuff?” She asked, indignant and also kind of terrified.</p><p>His mouth hitched up in the corner, just a bit. A sarcastic, knowing, little smirk. “Yeah Kate, I did. I needed to see if there was anything that might tell us just who in the hell that kid was.”</p><p>Her cereal was getting soggy as she sat there staring at him slack jawed and annoyed. He had no freaking right to go through her stuff and now that he had, what was he going to do? Maybe she really was under arrest. Wait, did the Avengers even do that sort of thing?</p><p>The attention shifted from her to movement behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see the incredibly gorgeous even in a pair of jeans and understated t-shirt Black Widow stepping out of the elevator holding the hand of a little girl that was too clean and well-dressed to be her Chrissy.</p><p>“Kate!” She cried, letting go of the Black Widows hand and running towards her.</p><p>Kate pushed back from the table and awkwardly maneuvered the chair around before anyone could so much as offer their assistance. Chrissy clamored quickly into her lap, crying.</p><p>“Mulţumesc stelelor. Esti bine? Eşti rănit?” Kate asked, smoothing the fine blonde curls out of the girls face while at the same time keeping a guarded eye on the others. It was strange. The dark haired stranger who was ten kinds of yummy had skirted the outside of the room since his arrival but seemed to perk up for just a second when she spoke.</p><p>The Black Widow lifted a perfect brow. “Romani.” It was an observation, not a question.</p><p>Hawk shrugged. His arms were folded across his chest again as he watched the reunion. “Our grandmother was a gypsy.”</p><p>Kate shot him a look. It was wrong of him to speak so casually of Mamaie in front of these people who didn’t know her. Did he have so little respect for their family? For where they came from?</p><p>She turned her attention instead to the Black Widow. “Thank you for looking after Chrissy.”</p><p>“It was my pleasure.” The redhead seemed to soften just a bit when she looked at the kid. “Chrissy, so that’s your name.”</p><p>The child burrowed her face into the side of Kate’s neck and smiled shyly. “I like her,” She whispered in Kate’s ear. “She’s nice.”</p><p>Kate gave the Black Widow a weak smile of appreciation as she patted the child’s back with her free hand.</p><p>The femme fatale looked to Hawkeye. “Did you show her the room?”</p><p>He shook her head.</p><p>“What room?” Kate questioned suspiciously, her focus bouncing between the two of them.</p><p>“Your room,” He answered. “For when the doc springs you from medical. Do you want to check it out?”</p><p>Damn it, she kind of did. She’d meant it when she’d said she wouldn’t be staying long but her curiosity won out. Her lips pressed together, she nodded.</p><p>Standing up, Hawk swung his leg over the back of his chair. Chrissy clung to Kate even harder when he approached but she shushed the girl before she could even make a sound.</p><p>“It’s okay kid. Want to go for a ride?”</p><p>Chrissy let out a panicked squeal as he tipped the wheelchair back on its wheels but then laughed when she realized he wasn’t going to let them fall. Kate took one last quick glance to the others in the kitchen, then she laughed too as he steered them in a crazy zig-zag.</p><p>Down a long wide hallway, Hawk made a lame impression of brakes squealing as they came to a stop in front of a door.</p><p>“This is it,” He announced, with a short nod to the doorhandle. “Go ahead.”</p><p>Kate looked up at him, unsure at first, then adjusting Chrissy on her lap, she leaned forward and reached for the knob. The door opened without a sound.</p><p>The room was big and bright with large windows looking out over the city. The bed was massive with at least half a dozen pillows and fluffy white linens. The furniture was all blonde oak, warm and inviting, and there was a pair of gray high back chairs set to face the spectacular view with a small table between them. If she was under arrest they sure as hell were setting her up in a nice jail cell.</p><p>“What do you think?” Hawk asked after she’d had a few minutes. “It’s got it’s own bathroom right through there and a uh, closet of course. We can fix it up however you want.”</p><p>“It’s got to be twice as big as Mamaie’s trailer,” She whispered in awe.</p><p>Hawkeye made a noise that sounded like agreement. Though they were alone, he kept his voice low. “You don’t have to rush off just yet, Kit-Kat. You can stay. Figure things out.”</p><p>“What about your friends? What do they think?”</p><p>He crouched down in front of her. “They saw what Barney did to you. Kate, you can’t go back. You know that, right?”</p><p>The burn of tears threatened in her eyes again. Her head dropped. “I don’t know how to do anything else.”</p><p>“Now’s the time to learn.” He placed a warm hand on her knee. “I can help.”</p><p>“And Chrissy?”</p><p>He gave the little girl a gentle smile that was kind of ugly given his jacked up face but the meaning still came across. “We’ll figure it out.”</p><p> Kate looked past him into the room again. Her black duffle bag was sitting alone on the dresser. She lifted her chin towards it. “Does this mean I get my stuff back?”</p><p>Hawk looked over his shoulder. He groaned just a little when he stood up then walked over to retrieve the bag. Dropping it on her lap, she couldn’t help but notice it was lighter. She nudged Chrissy to the side so she could use her good arm and undid the zipper. Her change of clothes, her cash, a couple of trinkets, they were all there but none of the stuff she’d meant to pawn. There was a hollow pit in her stomach as she looked up at her brother whose arms were folded again. He nodded, his meaning clear, and she looked again. There beneath her stuff was a white envelope. The handwriting on it was crap, Chrissy probably could have done a better job, but Kate could still make out the words.</p><p>
  <em>For the lost things. I’ll take it from here. - Hawk</em>
</p><p>She didn’t have to open it to know there was cash inside.</p><p>“There’s rules, Kate,” He said. “No stealing.”</p><p>Her eyes closed, she nodded her agreement.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When Kate speaks Romani she's saying, "Thank the stars. Are you okay? Are you hurt?' </p><p>For this fic Clint and Kate are not Romani but since they've grown up in the circus it's plausible that they learned it along the way. It will all come together, I promise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Ceiling Vent Clint</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got up at 4:30 in the morning to get this finished. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’d crashed out early which was weird for him but not really when you considered that he’d hardly slept in the last two days. It was that good sleep too. The kind that came with pure exhaustion. Like after a good fight. Budapest. He’d gotten the best freaking sleep after Budapest.</p><p>Before she could even touch him, Clint jerked awake. He blinked at Nat standing at the side of his bed, her hair damp and something that looked like worry written all over her face. Shit, this couldn’t be good. Nat never <em>looked</em> worried.</p><p>“Chrissy is pissing.”</p><p>Nope. That wasn’t right. To be fair lip reading was a pretty freaking inexact science.  His eyes cut to the nightstand where his hearing aids were stashed in a dinged up Altoids tin. Tony hated that he kept one of his genius tech inventions in a mint tin which was precisely why the archer did it. It took him less than thirty seconds to put them in.</p><p>“Chrissy is missing.” Nat repeated impatiently.</p><p>That made more sense.</p><p>Clint was out of bed already grabbing a shirt from the top of the hamper. He gave it a compulsory sniff before refocusing his attention to the situation at hand.  “How the hell could she be missing?”</p><p>“She was asleep. I took a shower and when I was done she was gone.”</p><p>“Jarvis?” He asked.</p><p>“Is down for a scheduled systems upgrade.” She swiped a deadly finger carelessly at her brow. “Tony said it will be an hour.”</p><p>Crap. He should probably do a better job of reading the memos Tony sent out.</p><p>“Okay, she can’t have gotten far. She probably…” He trailed off as they walked out into the commons. He gave a quick scan around the room like it should have been that easy and shook his head, finishing his lost thought. “Woke up thirsty? I don’t know. Went looking for Kate?”</p><p>“She’s not in medical,” Cap announced, coming through the door to the stairwell. “I swept every floor between here and there. Buildings locked down. Sam’s heading down to the ground floor and Buck’s working his way up to the roof.”</p><p>Great. Just great. What the hell was the Winter Soldier going to do if he found the kid? Braid each other’s hair and bond over being selectively mute?</p><p>“Did you wake Kate?” Clint asked him.</p><p>“No,” Cap’s forehead wrinkled with doubt. “I figured it best not to.”</p><p>Good. That was good. No need to wake her up and stress her out more. Certainly they of all people could figure out where the kid had gotten off to. They could do this. He just needed a minute.  </p><p>“She can’t have gotten far,” He repeated again. His eyes narrowed, he chewed the corner of his bottom lip, thinking. “She’s here somewhere.”</p><p>“We checked every room on the floor,” Nat explained, calm but her voice still harboring a note concern. It really was strange, this thing she had with kids lately.</p><p>His eyes flicked to her face. Apparently it was his turn to be the soothing voice of reason. “She’s here, Nat. Somewhere.”</p><p>“We’re going to find her,” Cap chimed in, a hand of comfort on Nat’s bicep. “We just need to try to think like her.”</p><p>Right. Except it’d only been a day and Clint had been so wrapped up in dealing with Kate that he really hadn’t paid any attention to the kid. He didn’t know one thing about her apart from that she was some tweakers offspring and that she looked at him like he was the freaking boogieman. And that she was missing. Shit. He didn’t have the first clue.</p><p>“She’s three years old in a strange place,” Nat was saying while Clint’s wheels were turning.</p><p>“You checked the kitchen?” He blurted. “The cabinets? You checked all the cabinets?”</p><p>Cap shook his head. “Of course. The closets, cabinets, under the stairs.”</p><p>Nat’s eyes snapped to meet Clint’s, her sharp mind catching up with his.</p><p>“She’s not some normal three year old. Kate’s taught her to hide when she’s scared.” Just like he’d taught her, though he didn’t voice that part. “She’s not going to be somewhere obvious.”</p><p>“The cupboard in the trailer,” Nat murmured before her green eyes went just a little wide and her attention snapped back to Steve. “You need to do another sweep. Get ahold of Sam and Bucky and let them know to check dressers, filing cabinets, desk drawers. Even if they think it’s too small, she might still fit. High cabinets too, she can climb. I’ll re-check the rooms here.”</p><p>Clint was already in the kitchen, throwing open the cabinets and pulling everything out. She was here, he knew it. And why the hell did they have a fifty pound sack of rice? Oh right, two super soldiers and their super metabolism.</p><p>It took him less than five minutes to thoroughly comb the kitchen. She wasn’t there. Also, it would probably take at least two hours to set everything right again. Yeah, maybe three. Whatever Stark paid the housekeeper they should probably double it.</p><p>With a frown on his face and his hands on his hips he turned, slowly, surveying the common rooms again, thinking. He might not know Chrissy but he knew Kate. At three years old she would find the tightest spot imaginable and wait for him to find her. She’d find someplace warm and he’s find her hours later curled up asleep.</p><p>“Nat!” He yelled.</p><p>She popped her head out of one of the bedrooms they kept available for when they had guests. “Did you find her?”</p><p>“Not yet,” He replied. He was looking look up at the ventilation system, a finger pointed as he followed the connections in his head. At this point he probably knew the buildings vent system better than even Tony did. He’d spent days crawling through them. Knew every bend, every junction, and every HVAC grate. Even the small ones that blended into the buildings aesthetic and usually went unnoticed. “There’s a heater grate in the baseboard under the bar.”</p><p>Nat crossed the room. A hand on the smooth bar top, she doubled over to look. “It’s in place but the screws -.”</p><p>“Are stripped,” He finished for her, scrubbing a hand over the back of his head. “Yeah, that one might have been my fault.”</p><p>“You think she’s in the vents?” She actually sounded surprised.</p><p>Clint hopped onto the kitchen island. “I’d put money on it. Do you know why the circus spends winter in Florida?”</p><p>Her arms folded across her chest, she quirked an unamused brow at him.</p><p>“It’s warm,” He said with a grin, reaching for the ventilation grate above him.</p><p>“So what you’re telling me is you believe a three year old child is hiding in the ventilation system?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“Wonderful. It’s a fifty story building, Clint. There are literally miles of duct to go through.”</p><p>“I know.” He grabbed the sides of the open vent and swung his legs up, pulling himself inside. Once inside he leaned out so all she could see was his head upside down. “But if she is anything like Kate was, she found the first warm pocket and cozied up there.”</p><p>“And if she didn’t?” Nat called after him.</p><p>“Then you better make a pot of coffee because it’s going to be a long night.” His voiced echoed back at him.</p><p>He crawled on his belly. His sense of direction was impeccable if he did say so himself. Even after a few turns, he still knew exactly which way he was facing and reaching another grate, he looked down into Sam’s room, confirming it. The smell of beeswax candles and a musky perfume lingering in the air. Sam had had a woman over recently. Clint smirked as he continued on his mission. Coming to a vertical T junction, he paused only for a moment to assess. He could go up or he could go down. Nat was right, the kid could climb but there was no way she could manage the leverage it would take to climb the 25 foot vertical ducts. Down it was. Contorting his body around, he dropped himself over the side, sliding feet first.</p><p>“Clint?” Nat called. She was near a floor vent probably 15 yards ahead of him.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Just checking.”</p><p>He came to another junction, this time his options were either left or right. He paused again. Left took him towards the heater grate he believed she’d come through. Right, away from it. He closed his eyes and took a deep centering breath. Determination knitting his brow, he went right.</p><p>Another ten yards and he was feeling more confident. It was faint, but he could just pick up a hint of the lavender soap from Nat’s favorite spa boutique that she’d used to bathe the kid in. Twenty yards and a bend later, the scent was stronger and now accompanied by an undertone of chocolate. Hadn’t he seen Cap sneaking her a couple double chocolate chunk cookies after dinner?</p><p>And then just like that there she was. She was fast asleep with a thumb in her mouth, cozied up in the pocket of a bend in a nice little nest she’d made for herself out of Mamaie’s old quilt.</p><p>“Bingo,” He muttered under his breath.</p><p>He didn’t want to spook her. He hated to admit it but it really had killed him the way she’d looked at him before. All scared. It wasn’t like he didn’t get it, the resemblance between him and Barney had always been there, he saw it every time he looked in the damn mirror, but it still sucked to know he looked so much like this kid’s tormentor and he didn’t know what it would take to make that fear go away.</p><p>Gently, he reached forward and stroked the blonde whisps that framed her face. Her little mouth twitched in the slightest of smiles around her thumb then she opened her eyes and instantly recoiled.</p><p>“It’s okay.” He tried his best to adopt the tone he’d always used with Kate when she was a baby and woke up scared in the middle of the night. “You don’t have to be afraid of me. Kate told you before, remember? I’m not going to hurt you.”</p><p>She relaxed just a little. She was still on guard though. It sucked but part of him was also proud. She was smart and knew not to trust blindly. Good girl.</p><p>“When we found you at Mamaie’s, you knew my name,” He said. “Kate told you I’d come, didn’t she?”</p><p>He could see her hesitation but finally she nodded.</p><p>“Did she tell you I’d keep you safe?”</p><p>Another tiny nod.</p><p>“I will, you know. I promise. Just like I used to keep Kate safe.” Until he didn’t, but he wasn't about to tell her that. “Did you know I used to wrap her up in that same quilt? Probably slept under it myself a time or two when I was little. You can trust me, kid. I’m going to look after you and Kate both.”</p><p>And he meant it too. Whatever the hell Barney had put them through, he was going to find a way to make up for it. He was going to be the brother he was always supposed to be and Barney never was.</p><p>“Everyone’s out there looking for you. You got them all pretty worried. What do you say, kiddo? Think we can get you out of here?”</p><p>She hesitated again but finally gave a consenting nod. He collected the quilt under his arm and nodded for her to lead the way. She was small enough that she could move on her hands and knees. She was fast too, and her movements only a little incumbered by the hem of her flannel nightgown. He took note of the calluses beginning to form on the bottom of her feet and suspected that someone at some point had started training her on the tightwire.</p><p>They stopped when they reached another vertical duct. Up was the only option here. She looked back at him, a question without words.</p><p>“I gotcha,” He answered. Moving past her, he positioned himself in the L duct so that he stood upright, then crouched to beckon her to join him. Her face said skeptical but she at least allowed him to pick her up. “You got to hold on, okay? I need my arms.”</p><p>She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wedged the quilt between their bodies.</p><p>“Okay, here we go.”</p><p>Using his legs for leverage, he braced his back against the wall. The aluminum popped as he scooted them up.</p><p>“You know you’re pretty good at this,” He commented lightly, trying not to grunt in his exertion. He was not Cap. He could do this for a while but he could NOT do it all day, and he could have sworn she rolled her eyes at him, a mini version of Kate.</p><p>Reaching the top, she almost kicked him in the face as she scrambled onto the platform. With a grunt and a groan and a huff, Clint joined her then nodded for her to continue on until they came to the same vent opening he had entered through – the one above the kitchen island.</p><p>“Nat,” He called as he lowered himself down onto the counter before reaching up for the kid.</p><p>“Oh thank god,” Nat breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll let the boys know.”</p><p>Clint set the kid on the counter before hopping down and then offered her both hands so she could do the same. For a moment they just stood there, blinking awkwardly at each other in the light until finally the silence became too much and he said, “No more sneaking off on your own. Next time you want to go on an adventure in the vents you come get me first, okay? I’ll show you all the good spots.”</p><p>It was a solid thirty seconds before he heard the smallest of, “Okays.”</p><p>Clint’s smile was genuine as he looked down at her and gave her a wink.</p>
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